Sacrifice

Keith and I have decided to sell our car. Since he quit his job we have been finding ways to sacrifice and cut back. We decided if we are really going to make a go at him becoming published, we need to focus only on that. Which means he'll be working but not making money, at least not right now. Hopefully that will change in the next 4 to 6 months. It is an exciting time and yet, a little nerve wracking. So even though we own our car, it just makes sense for us to sell it and use the money towards making our savings stretch to help cover the gap between our monthly expenses and my income. We've looked at every scenario and I know this is the right thing for us to do. What this means for my early morning commute is that I will be riding the bus. Thankfully I get an extremely discounted monthly bus pass from work. The hard part is the route. There's a stop that picks up right in front of my house, which is nice. And where it drops off is only about 3 blocks away from my office. I can easily hop on Trax and ride the rest of the way. The route back home is a little trickier. Based on the bus schedule, I will have to adjust my work hours back 30 mins. Then where the bus drops off is about a 20 - 30 minute walk, depending on my speed. I can easily have Keith come pick me up, but what a pain to lug the kids into the car just to pick me up and come home. Doesn't really seem worth it to me. The biggest down fall is that I will be getting home about an hour and 15 minutes later. Grrr. My baby already is in bed between 6:30 and 7 (I know how awesome is that right?! I know you're all jealous!!). I won't see my kids as much, which means I'll have to work even harder to make each second count and give them as much attention at night as possible, which can be difficult depending on the day. We are going to save a lot of money doing this. I know it. And I am looking forward to not having to drive into Salt Lake every morning at the crack of dawn when it's cold and icy and I'm just too tired to deal with stupid drivers. I will have time on the bus to read, work on my knitting or sleep, which is probably what will happen most of the time. A week from tomorrow is when my new routine will take flight. After today's commute, I'm really looking forward to it. It's a sacrifice, one that may seem unnecessary to a lot of people. But for us, it makes sense. Sacrifice brings forth blessings, right?! Let's hope so. Keith is making good progress on his work schedule during the evenings and pretty soon it'll just start pouring out of him. He's such a good writer. He doesn't know it yet but he's going to have great influence on the world with his writing. He's very thoughtful and creative. I love to listen to his story ideas and the manuscript as he reads me new chapters. I'm excited for him to start focusing on the better things in life, instead of being consumed with trying to help him get better.

So much of parenthood is sacrifice. Putting off what you want today for a better life for your children tomorrow. So much of life is sacrifice. If we want to push ourselves, learn and grow, we must make sacrifices in some form or another. I love the quote "We must all live with one of two pains; the pain of sacrifice of the pain of regret." I am really trying to put off my own desires to make our lives better. To make my own life better. It's hard. I'm a selfish person by nature. I have a hard time not pushing for what I want. Think of something you want to change about yourself. Tomorrow try and give up that thing, whatever it is, for part of the day, for the entire day, or just resist if it be a vice of yours. It feels so good to say, hey, that was hard but I did it. I went without or I let go. I didn't give in! Baby steps people. Line upon line. "Today I didn't have a roll or butter with my salad. Success!!" Even if only in that moment, it was more time I resisted and I felt good because of it.

Keith and I decided to get an elliptical. We really need something at the house that he can do and that will not agitate his back. We are both really excited about it and I know it will help us with our goals as a couple as well as our individual goals. It is amazing to me how, since my little journey began and I decided to trust more and control less, our relationship seems stronger. Maybe I am just happier overall and so I feel like every aspect of my life is better. Oh don't worry, it's not. I still spend a fair amount of time yelling at Wrigley because he seriously NEVER listens to me. The kid is a little devil right now. I can NOT wait for him to start school. Maybe I need to get him into a tumbling class. Anyone know of a good and relatively cheap tumbling class in Centerville for toddlers. That sounds funny saying, he doesn't seem like a toddler to me, but he is only 3. Next to Ryno he seems like a giant! Anyway, I really feel like in just the last 3 weeks we have made some serious progress towards our goals for the year and making some very critical decisions for our future. Now the real test, can we do it?! YES, of course. As long as we don't give up and don't let the little setbacks get us down.

Like for me, last night we had DQ for dinner. I was starving because I didn't eat enough during the day. Then blew it on my dinner. My workout today was decent but could have been a lot better because I was tired and feeling bogged down (definitely didn't get enough sleep the last 2 nights!), and my right hammy - hamstring - is very tight, I think from Kickboxing on Wednesday. So tonight I try to get to bed a little earlier, which may requiring me to drug my child since he's the reason I haven't been sleeping well, and tomorrow try to push myself a little more. Eat a little better and love myself a little more, despite all the insecurities that tell me I shouldn't.

Farewell Brooklyn (Keith named her before we met). You've been good to us in so many ways. The old bat can still get up and go. Gotta love er. MUWAH!