Sunday, January 20, 2013


I was going to post this on Friday, but I'm glad I waited. I had the best day at work on Friday. You wouldn't expect someone, especially me, to say something like that. One a Friday after a very busy and long week, payday, and right before a 3-day weekend (hallelujah), typically I would be distracted and the time would drag. I would be scratching at the door to get out of there like a dog waiting to play in the snow. Work has been going really well the last 6 months. I was not looking forward to going back to work after I had Ryne. Having 3 months off I got a taste of being a stay-at-home-mom and I loved it. But that's not my call in life. Not right now anyway. In this day and age, you do what you need to survive. Life is hard. The economy sucks. When we decided that Keith should quit his job, it probably seemed like a stupid and careless thing to do. I know a lot of people have probably thought that and some have even said it. But we were following the spirit and knew it was the right thing to do; taking this plunge and leap of faith for him to focus on his writing and working towards becoming a published author, and a better life for our family. Already we can see the blessings from this decision. Our boys seem happier being at home, and I know Keith and I are both happier. Our lives are better. Not easier, but definitely better.

So here I am, back to work, missing my babies like crazy. There had been some changes while I was gone, I wasn't sure how I was going to adjust. I was fortunate enough to get an office at that time, and that helped tremendously. I actually had several job interviews because I thought maybe I just needed to find something different within the bank and I would be happy again. Those didn't pan out and I was back to where I started. So I prayed and I really thought about what it was that I wanted. I had the thought that maybe I was not taking full advantage of my current position. So I started to think about what I wanted to be different and how I could change that. I had a very frank conversation with my supervisor and told her the things I wanted for my career. I mean, I've been with the bank for over 7 years now so like it or not, it is my career. I have to say, that was the best thing that could have happened for me. She has helped me so much and I have grown exponentially since that time, I feel like a different person. I have learned so much; I continue to learn and now I have a secret to tell. I actually really love my job right now. Yikes! It helps to have a supervisor that believes in you. I feel like I am to the point where my supervisor and I really get along well. She knows what I want and she's helping me get to that point. We have had some major blessings since then, within my job and within our personal lives outside of work, and I really believe it's because I've changed my attitude. I am actively working towards being a better person. This last week at work was really busy. I have lots of reports and deadlines to meet each month and with the timing of some of my loans, additional work was pressing that I had to complete. I received a payoff on a loan and am doing some negotiating with my attorney on another, which will hopefully yield a nice reward. The more I learn and the more my supervisor challenges me with the type of work she gives me, the more I enjoy what I am doing. I have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone and not looking back.

I have also been doing this with my workout goals. In a short amount of time, I feel like I have accomplished so much already. T and I had the best workouts this past week. I am starting to teach her kickboxing and it's getting me so pumped to teach my class next Saturday. I forgot how much I enjoy it; it's so much fun!!! The Pilates class yesterday went so well. I wasn't really sure how it was going to come together, I didn't really sit down and plan it out, or time each of the exercises, but I felt it went really well. People had a great time and I'm encouraged they will come back. I'm also encouraged as word gets out, more people will attend. And let me tell you, I am feeling it today! The great thing about teaching is that I push myself, really push myself. I want those I'm teaching to see the proper way to do each exercise. That challenges me to keep my form as perfect as I can. To push myself to the maximum rep, if you will, of each exercise and I can tell I worked hard yesterday. We are all in different places in our lives. I have not felt great about myself the last few years and I know I need to improve. My weight is an issue; it's obvious I am out of shape. Normally, I would not be so eager to get out in front of people in my spandex pants and teach exercise. I'm not really the model of a healthy person, just by looking at me. However, with all the changes over the last 6 months, I have felt more confident with myself and I believe this has helped me to get excited about exercise again. With that excitement, I want to teach and share what I know and love. In the process I'll be able to reach my own personal goals as well. The response to these classes I am teaching has been overwhelming. People are excited and supportive and don't look at me judging how I could possibly help or teach them, but are eager and willing to learn. It excites me!

The natural man in all of us can keep us from reaching our full potential. I'm amazed how much a change in my attitude has changed my life in such a short period of time. Oh, don't get me wrong. I've had many a pity party and woe is me moment in the last 6 months. There are plenty around me that can attest to that. But those moments of self pity are decreasing in length and fleeting in occurrences because I pick myself back up, look for the positive, focus on the things I have control over, and have Faith that the rest of it will work out, eventually.

I read on a friend's blog last night a quote that I'm going to steal and it goes something like this: Stop thinking about what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go right. I LOVE that!!! How true it is. I fester and worry about what could go wrong. Maybe I shouldn't do this because I'm afraid of making a mistake. Well mistakes will be made. That is just part of life. But if the decision I am making is big enough, as long as I follow the spirit and have faith, I know I don't need to be afraid. So many of the things I worry about anyway don't really matter. I'm changing my attitude about my life and the way I view it. I am so blessed and not just because I'm finally starting to see it. I have been blessed my entire life. Sure I've struggled but look where it's gotten me today. God has never left my side, even when I've left his and don't deserve his love watching over me. He has never left me.

So I challenge anyone that is reading this to focus on the good things in your life. Focus on what you can control. Try every day to have a positive attitude and look for reasons to be happy. It's not hard to find them and it's amazing what it will do for your heart and for the love you have for yourself and those in your life.

Look at these faces.... How can I not be happy, even when sometimes all I want to do is head for the hills and never look back! That's a fleeting moment. I love these rugrats. And yes, that is a marshmallow Wrig is rubbing on his cheek. He was so happy and surprised that it was soft and not sticky. LOL! Ah, the simple pleasures in life!



  1. You are and will be everyday a big motivator in my life. You have taught me SO much about exercise, you will reach your goal cause I will reach mine. I hope Pilates went well yesterday. See you tuesday!

  2. It doesn't matter if you stop following God or even stop believing in Him, you ALWAYS deserve to be loved by Him.

    You are such an inspiration. I love you. I have been trying to take a similar attitude. It's amazing how different your day can go with the right attitude.

    This may be the wrong place to share this, but here's some food for thought (made me have a profound thought anyway, and that's sayin somethin!)...D&C 6:20-21, 33, 36; and D&C 19:2---the phrase "him whose I am" stuck out to me.

    Keep up the good work. Miss you like crazy. You're doing great.


    1. Kells, you can share whatever you want. You're my sis & I say so. :) Thanks for sharing, those are great scriptures. Love & miss you too.

  3. Hi Cami,
    I am loving your blog!! I am glad you post about it on FB. I really needed to hear some of this. I think I am going to post "Focus on what you can control" on my mirror! I have a problem with looking ahead and wishing for the future to come more quickly (esp. because I am pregnant!!). But I really need to enjoy the moments that are here noW!

    You are an amazing woman!! You boys are so lucky to have you!

    -Lindsey (from Primary)

    1. Thanks for the sweet comments Lindsey! It is so hard. I didn't appreciate Wrigley enough when he was tiny. I've been much more loving & patient with Ryne. Everyday I'm learning & trying to focus on what I can control. Especially now that Wrigley is older. He's a total whirling dervish & pushing the limits. Why won't he just do what I want? Oh right, because he's a person too with choices of his own. So I fight the urge to lock myself in the bathroom with a cherry coke. Ah, he'd just pick the lock anyway. :)