Today’s weigh-in: 212. Not bad! Hey, baby steps right? I think the no sugar last week definitely helped. Now I just need to focus on less carbs, at least the kind that I don’t really need. If I can keep going the way I have been, I’ll definitely be on track to reach my intermediate goal of under 200 lbs by April 14th (my anniversary).
The last few days I’ve been thinking about what is it that keeps me from reaching my full potential? I’m a firm believer that you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it, and with the help of God, of course. Yet, I seem to struggle with the same things, over and over again. What is it that makes us insecure with ourselves? We all have things we try to hide or are embarrassed about, whether those things are good or bad. I have a confession to make. I’m a singer. I love to sing. It makes me so happy. And I’m a good singer. I took 7 years of private voice lessons, starting when I was 14. I’ve actually recorded 2 CD’s; one is a Christmas / Italian Classical album and the other is more contemporary and modern. I’m not sure I love how the 2nd one turned out but it doesn’t matter. Not that many people have heard it. I’m almost more embarrassed telling you this than I am reporting what my weight is. What is wrong with me?! I’m definitely not as good as I used to be; I don’t practice regularly unless you count in the car and at church choir. But I still recognize that I have this talent. I have great pitch and can usually tell easily if someone is flat or sharp. I have a great memory for notes, as in; I can remember a tune or melody after hearing it only once or twice. I can read music. I don’t have a strong theory background but never pursued it much. So there it is. I said it. Why am I insecure, when I know I can sing, have sung several solo’s throughout my life, and probably will again in the future. I’m not afraid to tell people that I’m one helleva knitter, that I’m a fantastic cook and baker, that I’m funny and can still be spastic if I want to. I have lots of talents and qualities that make me great. So why do I let this one little thing cause my shoulders to cave in, creating a sinking feeling of folding into myself? I don’t know. I just do. I’m trying to overcome all insecurities. If I’m not afraid to be embarrassed or humiliated, even if the chances of that happening are enormous or slim, I wouldn’t care one way or the other what anyone thought of me, EVER. And guess what…skies the limit. If I have no secrets, then there’s nothing to keep me from looking each and every person I make contact with on a daily basis, in the eye, with confidence and excitement about who I am and willing to share who I am with anyone I know.
I hope by confessing this to the world, well “world” (take it with a grain of salt, it’s just the internet!), that I will feel a little less like a folding chair and a little more like a blow-up doll, who has a brain. That didn’t make any sense but you catch my drift.
I’m not saying we all have to stand on our roof tops and shout to the world our inner darkest and deepest secrets, but I’m sure there is something about yourself you are embarrassed to share; something that only a few people in your life know about. Maybe it’s not a talent per say, but there are reasons you are holding back, whether it be in a career, in a relationship with someone in your life, with your own personal goals and aspirations. Take a leap of faith. LET GO! It’s liberating and you might just find you are standing a little taller, lifting your head a little higher and smiling a little bigger. Ü
Love yourself, in all your glory; the good, the bad and the ugly (not that any of you are ugly…)