Monday, February 25, 2013

Gratitude

Life has been crazy the last few weeks. My laptop is fried; I can’t get it to turn on other than to say that it didn’t shut down properly and then it’s a vicious cycle from there. It’s at least 4 years old, add a toddler pounding on it all the time on top of age, it’s on its last leg. My Kindle doesn’t let me bring up the keyboard when I try to type a post in Blogger so I’ve just been up a creek. I’m not about to attempt updating you, other than to say I had a fabulous 34th birthday and I think I’ve purchased at least 12 new pairs of shoes this month, all with the exception of like 2, are heels. Yes, I’m feeling pretty great about life these days. It’s nice not feeling like a frump all the time.

Saturday afternoon I was looking in my closet for an empty notebook for Keith to use and I came across a fun little piece of my past. I thought I would share some of it here for some refreshing giggles and hopefully I can get back to my regular posting. This will likely be more hilarious to me than to you.

First thing I noticed in the notebook was a list of Characteristics I need in a Husband. I won’t share them all but one made me laugh particularly hard and I wanted to share. For those that know me well, this will ring true.

“Laid back / easy going – can handle my obnoxious intensity.” LOL. Nuff said.

The first part of the notebook was a gratitude journal I started in February 2000. I wrote 10 things each day I was grateful for. It was fun to read through some of these and I got a few good laughs too. Below are some of the entries. 

My Gratitude Journal (from the year 2000)
I’m grateful for Books and knowledge.
I'm grateful for privacy.
I love food and I love to eat.
I'm grateful for legs that I can walk freely
Cereal is delicious.
Free cable is great too.
Without toothpaste or a brush I wouldn't have any teeth because they'd all be rotten.
I'm glad the sun is shining. It is beautiful today.
I'm grateful that there are so many good looking guys around. I love boys!!
Telephones are nice so I can talk to my family when I never get to see them.
I'm grateful for lotion to keep my skin from cracking in this weather.
I'm grateful for leap year so I have an extra day to find $ for my rent.
I'm glad I started this so when I'm unhappy it forces me to find things to be grateful for.
Electricity is a wonderful modern convenience. I wouldn't want to live without it.
Same with plumbing. I love indoor toilets.
I'm finally done with my physical therapy. My should, neck and back feel great. I'm so thankful to all those who have helped me to get better.
I'm grateful to be home alone once in awhile. It is quiet & peaceful & nice.
Today Aunt Do called me to see if I was ok. I'm so grateful that they love and support me even when I don't write for a long time.
I'm grateful for free food!
I'm so thankful for an internal clock that wakes me when I sleep through my alarm, otherwise I'd still be in bed.
I love playing night games.
It's nice that they deliver pizza to your door so you don't have to go out in the snow.
My dad is awesome for bringing me new blades for my windshield wipers.
I'm grateful that I have parents who are in tune with the spirit and know when I'm having a hard time. Especially when I am too proud to call and ask for help.

I only did this for about 8 days. Maybe I should start again. :)

Monday, February 18, 2013

Monday Morning Weigh-In

This is going to be short and sweet, because I'm tired and have a headache. This morning I weighed in at 208.2 lbs. WAHOO!! I'm so proud of myself! I am pretty sure I overdid it at dinner tonight. Back on the elliptical tomorrow morning.

Last week was busy with training meetings Tues - Thurs and then I've been off work since Friday. Friday was my birthday; it's been nice being home with the boys. Still can't believe I'm 34 but feeling good about it. I have been busy at home trying to clean and reorganize pretty much all of the rooms in my house. It's been a chore and a project, to say the least, but I'm making good progress and by the end of the month I'll be ready for a nice long and relaxing weekend.

So I apologize for not writing much but after tomorrow, I should get back to a regular schedule. :)

Adios for now.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Pigeons VS Statues

Today I received an email forward from my mom, who in turn received it from her boss. This is worth sharing, so I’m going to post it here. These are NOT my words.

A young lady confidently walked around the room, with a raised glass of water, while leading and explaining stress management to an audience. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or
half full?'...

She fooled them all .... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz. She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... Pick them up tomorrow.

Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue! 

Back to me…

What a great lesson to learn. Last week was so crazy for me. I had several instances at work where I really had no control over the outcome and I let it get to me. I mean, Friday morning I was having a total freak out, melt down moment in my office, to my co-workers amusement. I’m a planner. Yeah I can fly by the seat of my pants but I just like to know what’s going on. Well due to some unforeseen circumstances, I had to change my schedule around, then back, then around again, along with my upcoming and oh-so-needed time off from work. So you can see it was really starting to get to me. Suddenly I had a lot to do in a short amount of time and working late on a Friday and Monday aren’t things I typically enjoy doing. In the end, it will be fine and as a result, something that I do want to happen and could benefit my career. So I can appreciate that it’s a good thing. Just would have preferred it happening in a different way. My way, to be exact. What’s wrong with that?!

Stress is a killer. I have carried stress with me most of my adult life. Another reason exercise is good, it relieves said stress. Still, is there really this gigantic need for so much busyness in our lives? Which in turn leads to more stress? Of course there’s no need, yet we continue to pile it on, as if more is better. As women, we tend to take on more than we should. We don’t allow others to help us. Our burden of stress is so astronomical we are literally killing ourselves and aging much quicker than we need to.

At the end of the day, what matters most is my family. The relationships I have in my life. How I interact with people and if I am happy with the person I am, the person I am becoming. No regrets. That is the new motto of my life. Even when I make a mistake, something good always comes of it, even if it hurts. That’s why we are here, to be tested, to learn, to grow. Change is good right? Yes, the answer is yes. Change is good. And as Any Warhol said, “they always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” so why not start now.   

What are you going to be today? A pigeon. Or a statue.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Slow Blink

I have been dragging ALL. WEEK. LONG. It’s only Wednesday. I mean…Wednesday? Really? Come on. I think it’s in part from the very busy weekend, late nights, and huge consumptions of food (thank you Super Bowl). Monday and Tuesday were late nights. Why I do this to myself, I’ll never know. Didn’t I just post a mantra on the benefits of sleep to your health? I need to read that post again.

Last night I was ubber lazy. My Boo got me a Valentine’s Day ice cream treat and I totally indulged and it was delicious. I felt pretty gross afterwards because that’s the most sugar I’ve eaten in about a month. But it was nice. The kids were in bed early and we got to snuggle on the couch and watch TV. Those days are few and far between at my house. Anyway, I was feeling guilty about it last night but this morning I didn’t feel bogged down like I would have expected from a late night treat. I think my metabolism is adjusting to the exercise and better food choices I’ve been making. And really, we shouldn’t feel guilty for indulging once in a while. I mean, we’ve got to live right?! Who wants a life full of uptight “me’s” and ornery “I’s”? Not this girl! So today….back on that horse. In retrospect, it’s kind of nice knowing that my treat for the week is out of the way, rather than leaving it for the weekend which is usually when I’m the weakest.

We got an elliptical. I absolutely love it. A friend came over and put it together for us lickety split and I loved that even more. It’s soooo nice. I love having something at home I can just hop on and workout. And it’s a great quality machine. I’ve worked with a few in my day. For what we paid, well I wouldn’t have expected it to be so nice. We got a great deal, so I’m pleased. Monday night, 9:30 I jumped on and holy crap it was like trying to run in quicksand! Ok maybe just sand, but I was struggling. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on an elliptical. I’m sure my muscles just need to adjust to the new kind of movement. I was really surprised though. I’ve been exercising regularly now for about 5 weeks. I thought it would be easier. I’m sure lack of sleep played a part as well. I’m excited to get moving on it again, and to see how quickly I can improve with it. I really need to work on not using it as a crutch to not workout during the day, when I’m able to. Nights are hard. I am usually totally beat and worn out come 9pm. I don’t really want to start doing my workouts then. However, sometimes it’s the only time. I will say this, I felt so much better come Tuesday morning than I did on Monday. I was soooo tired on Monday, dragging like a piece of toilet paper stuck to a shoe. And although I still stayed up late on Monday night, I really didn’t feel as sleepy.  Tired yes, but I could keep my eyes open most of the day. Score one for me. Tuesday I had a great hour long walk during lunch, which helped since my plan to use the elliptical failed with my totally worth it night of self-indulgence. Tonight, back on the machine (after another hour long walk) and as hard as it is and as much as I might want to give up, I won’t. I will push myself to go a little bit longer and work a little bit harder because in the end, that is what I really want. THAT is what I really need.

With any goal in life you are bound to have set backs. However, setbacks can be a good thing. They help us to realize we do want to keep moving forward. Setbacks help us realize what we really want in life and just how hard we are willing to work. Set a goal for tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be big. Focus on that goal and if you don’t reach it, don’t beat yourself up. Set the same goal for Friday. Keep doing that and eventually you will reach that goal. It’s a great feeling to accomplish something challenging, especially when there’s an inner struggle to give up. Don’t Give Up! You can do anything you put your mind to. You just have to keep reminding yourself of what you really want and reset the clock.

I love the quote from Anne of Green Gables where’s she’s talking to Miss Stacy.

“Tomorrow is another day, with no mistakes in it.”

Friday, February 1, 2013

Classic Cami

I decide to put up 2 posts. It is going to be a very busy weekend and I’ll be lucky if I have time to pee, so here ya go.

The other day, I heard a song on the radio that brought back a memory and put a smile on my face. Are y’all familiar with Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” song? If you aren’t, you’re probably gonna wanna YouTube it or pull up Pandora and listen before you continue reading. It’ll make this little antidote more meaningful.

When I first started working downtown, it was about the end of May 2007. I had just moved to a different department in the bank, right after I got married. It was fun and exciting to be in the city. This was shortly before the City Creek construction started. ZCMI was still in place, as well as the parking garage. My first few days of work, I wasn’t sure what to expect or where to park. So I paid to park at the ZCMI mall / parking garage that was right on South Temple, next to my office building. It’s kind of funny to think back on those days, everything is so different now.

One day when I was leaving work, I got in my little silver Honda Civic and was heading down from the top of the parking structure. I don’t remember the time of day but it was warm and sunny out, blue skies and clouds. It was a nice day. “Bad Day” was playing on the radio and I was singing along, feeling pretty happy. As I got towards the bottom of the parking garage, I started heading down a long, dark “tunnel” (I suppose you could call it that), where there were parking booth’s and gates at the bottom. There were no cars or lights in that direction, nothing to indicate it was an active exit. I had seen a sign at the top of the tunnel that said “card only” but thought it meant credit card. Yeah. I was wrong. There were no attendants in the booths. This was only for people that had a regular parking pass. DOH! What am I going to do? WHAT am I going to do?!? What am I going TO DO?!?!?! What could I do but put my car in reverse and start backing up. Well it was still early in the afternoon and there weren’t too many people leaving yet, thank goodness. I was almost home free. Except I wasn’t home free. Suddenly there was a car behind me. NO! Are you kidding me?! I don’t know how many of you remember what those old parking garages were like, but there weren’t a lot of lights and those tunnels were very narrow. So I poke my head out of the window and yell for the person behind me to back up, all while flailing my arms to show a backwards motion. This is just soooo typical of me. I’m always doing stupid, ditzy things like this. I mean, honestly, how dumb do you have to be to not just pay attention to your surroundings and avoid this?

In the end, things worked out just fine. It wasn’t really that big of a deal and it was pretty funny. I was laughing at myself on the drive home. I thought “How appropriate that this song is playing on the radio at the exact moment that I do something so monumentally stupid.” As I think back on this story, I realize that I do things like this all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m a pretty smart girl and I can hold my own. But there’s that other part of me that just does the dumbest things. Whether it's because I’m trying to hurry or I’m just not paying attention, when I think back i see similarities in these experiences. Sometimes I'm able to blow it off and other times I get so angry with myself and fester and fester until I'm even more angry. Every time I do something like this I think to myself, you need to slow down and pay attention! Stop getting yourself into these kinds of situations! And here we are again…. I have dozens of stories like this; maybe I’ll share another someday. The point of the story, well I dunno other than I hope it was a good laugh and I guess try to see the silver lining in all situations.

Today’s emergency is tomorrow’s afterthought.  

SLEEP

It has been a very long and exhausting week. I. AM. TIRED. It’s been one thing after another and I feel like I have been running on fumes since Saturday. Last week I actually had 3 very late nights in a row and when I finally was able to get some decent sleep on Saturday and Sunday night I was reminded how vital sleep is to our well-being. If you are anything like me, you tend to overextend yourself, filling up your days with errands, projects and attempts to keep your house from decomposing. Since the beginning of January I've been trying really hard to get regular sleep and I noticed a big difference. I wasn’t nearly as ornery or moody or edgy for that fact. I was better equipped to deal with the challenges of my day and not let it throw me for the biggest loop, which inevitably would lead to an adult sized tantrum, whether inside my head or out for the whole world to see (or at least my husband and children).

Sometimes craziness is not avoidable. I need to continually remind myself to slow down and simplify. Working full time and having a family is challenging. There is always one more mess to clean up, on less meal that gets cooked, one more moment where I feel like I should be giving my children attention but also working on the loads and loads of laundry piling up. So when I do have free time away from work, it is jammed packed full of ‘things’. Most of those ‘things’ don’t really matter, not in that very moment, but I’m so busy running around I can’t stop to take a breath and realize that it can wait and isn’t going to keep me from entering those purly white gates one day. For me, sleep has a lot to do with this kind of behavior. If I’m tired and running on fumes, the key to not letting everything fall apart and me collapse in a heap on the ground? DON'T STOP MOVING. This is SOOOOO unhealthy and self-destructive. I can feel myself slipping back into that and there comes a point when the messes just need to stay and my head needs to hit that pillow. Therefore, in efforts to keep from reverting back to my old ways, I am going to focus this next week on getting sleep. We are all different. Some of us can function on little sleep and others need more. Listen to what your body is telling you and then do it. I tend to feel very groggy and sluggish if I sleep more than 7 ½ hours at the most. 7 hours a night is my goal; maybe 8 on a weekend morning but not every day. That is perfect, I feel rested and refreshed; ready for the day and have sufficient energy to tackle the daily ins and outs of my life.

I challenge each of you to take a look at your routine. Are you one that needs a little more sleep to ward off the mommy monsters or maybe a little less in order to feel a little lighter and energetic? Whatever the case may be for you, take a moment to re-evaluate and see just how much it can improve your day.

Happy Weekend!